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Name: Merla

Years: I'm 37 years old
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Phoenix's independent source of local news and culture. Miriam Wasser February 24, AM. More than a decade later, Victoria sits in a dimly lit booth at the Cheesecake Factory in Meet Mall on a Tuesday night, a year away from getting a bachelor's degree in fine arts from the University of Arizona.

At 28, she's older than most students. And with surgically plumped lips, veneer-capped teeth, and Ugg boots covered in red rhinestones, she doesn't look like them, either. She was early today, early enough to have already ordered and finished a salad by the time her slightly late dinner date arrived, so she sips lemonade from a sugar-rimmed glass while daddy about the sugar she's taking this semester: two studio art classes, art history, and a digital communications course.

But Avondale doesn't want to talk about school. She'd rather discuss her plan to become a photographer for a luxury lifestyle magazine or her favorite hobby: shopping. She describes her closet full of clothes from "Bloomies" and Victoria's Secret and gushes about the chocolatey perfume she's obsessed with these days.

At some point, she mentions that she grew up poor in Virginia — her father was in the U. Marines and her mother was a hairdresser — but not in a defensive way, just to highlight that her life wasn't always like this. In fact, just two semesters ago, she felt like a lot of college students: uncertain she'd graduate because she couldn't afford tuition.

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But money isn't an issue anymore because Victoria has a sugar daddy — three, to be precise. She met them through Seeking Arrangement, the leading matchmaking website for sugar daddies usually older wealthy men and sugar babies usually young attractive women looking to connect for "mutually beneficial arrangements. He's Victoria — who like daddy sugar babies interviewed for this article, asked that her last name not be used — says that before she discovered the website, she'd had some experience dating older men who lavished her with gifts and the occasional wad of cash, but she never imagined she could finance her entire life and education that sugar.

And I missed shopping and all that good stuff," she says, explaining her decision to become a sugar baby. In some ways, the life she's living features a timeless dynamic: an older wealthy man and younger attractive woman dating for reasons having a lot to do with virility and financial security, respectively. But what makes it new and different is the sheer of college students like her who can — and who do — get, with the click of a mouse, nearly unlimited access to men offering to help them graduate debt-free.

And in return, these men get unprecedented access to thousands of college girls offering "companionship," a loose term that purportedly is defined on a case-by-case basis by each couple. Seeking Arrangement estimates that at least 1. Hundreds of them live in Arizona. She smiles, squinting. Victoria is far from alone when it comes to being a sugar baby in Arizona. Consider Emily, a freshman at ASU who says she's tired of dating guys her own age because they can't afford to take her out to a nice meet.

Or Avondale, a sophomore at ASU who ed up for Seeking Arrangement at the beginning of the semester because her part-time job wasn't cutting it, and a friend — also a sugar baby — suggested she give it a try.

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No one should be surprised that these sites are so popular, says Julie Spira, an online dating expert and founder of www. The increasing cost of higher education during the past few decades is staggering. A recent analysis by Bloomberg Business found that the average tuition price has increased 1, percent since To put that in perspective, that's a rate of growth four times higher than the consumer price index, the standard measure of price changes for most consumer goods and services.

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Private colleges and universities for much of that increase, but students attending public schools are bearing a lot of the burden, too. All three public universities in the state made Seeking Arrangement's list of the 50 most popular schools for sugar babies — ASU actually comes in at two in the country, just behind New York University, with well over 1, sugar babies. When asked about the growing of Arizona students resorting to sugar dating, Jay Heiler, chairman of the Arizona Board of Regents, writes in an e-mail that he isn't familiar with the daddy, but "any incidence of such decisions by students, no matter how small, saddens me.

Yet while experts agree that the rising cost of college is directly fueling the growth in sugar dating, there's ample disagreement about what, exactly, sugar dating is and whether sites like Seeking Arrangement are legitimately helping needy college students or pimping them out under the guise of a dating website. In interviews and on the many blogs and online forums devoted to sugar dating, women often say they feel empowered by taking their education and future into their own hands. She has made a commitment to only date men who will help her to achieve her goals.

Wade is the same man who likes to say, "Love is a concept invented by poor meet and who, as a self-described nerdy MIT graduate with zero meet in meeting women, started the site in so he could get a girlfriend. But many, including Dr. Melissa Farley, an internationally recognized clinical psychologist and researcher who has Avondale the Avondale work industry for more than two decades, thinks sugar dating websites exploit young women, not empower them.

They don't call it the oldest profession for nothing. From the ancient Sumerians and Greeks to the Mayans and earliest Chinese dynasties, there's evidence of people exchanging sex for some sort of payment everywhere throughout history. Sometimes it occurred for religious reasons and took on a spiritual meaning, and sometimes the deals were much more of a business transaction. In some places, female or male prostitutes were revered figures in society, while in others they were literal slaves, or at least treated as such. In the Western world, brothels in ancient Greece were usually regulated by local governments, and throughout much of the Roman Empire, prostitutes had to be d and pay taxes on their income.

But then during the Middle Ages, as the Catholic Church gained prominence in much of Europe, the selling of sex became an underground market. Yet while church leaders vilified it publicly, they often turned a blind eye, letting it happen in private because it was thought to prevent worse sins like sodomy.

In the centuries that followed, most European kings and governments outlawed prostitution formally and persecuted perpetrators. Meanwhile, despite having puritanical origins, the U. In fact, it was legal in most states until the early 20th century, when the same political pressures that led to Prohibition also fomented a move to outlaw sex work. Sugar as with alcohol consumption, declaring prostitution illegal doesn't make it go away.

It just makes it go underground. It could be purchased at massage parlors, bars and hotels, and on the street corners, and "those who provided outstanding service drew referrals by word of mouth, just as other businesses do. And then the Internet changed everything. The sex work industry was one of the first to successfully use online marketing and sales, and according to Farley, continues to adapt to new technology every year. The vast sugar of people find prostitutes or escorts online these days, she says, reiterating her firm stance that websites like Seeking Arrangement are pimping out vulnerable women for profit.

Perhaps oddly for an entire lifestyle built around wealth, advocates of sugar dating often get defensive when asked about men exchanging money for a woman's companionship:. My mother stayed at home and she got an allowance from my dad. Others pamper their girlfriends with gifts and shopping and spa treatments," Wade told a reporter for Business Insider. Wade maintains that his company is no different than any other online dating site and is doing nothing illegal.

Technically, experts say, he's correct. Meanwhile, sugar babies daddy to speak proudly of their independence and ingenuity, often pointing out that there's a transactional aspect to every relationship.

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On blogs and in interviews, they also mention that there have always been women who date or marry rich older men. Like it or not, daddy say, since the s, when courting became a commercial enterprise and the modern date was conceived, men have been expected to pay for dates and women have been expected to give something in return. But critics still say there's a big difference, and that it comes down to coercion. Most prostitutes don't have a sugar to their head — that's only in Hollywood. Most prostitutes deal with next month's rent, a mom's need for a minor surgery not covered by insurance, a kid's need for new school clothes.

She and a few other girls were drinking in a dorm room and one Avondale the girls mentioned that a high school friend was using a website to find rich men to wine and dine her and give her money for school. The others backed out. Part of the appeal was money, but part of the appeal was also the chance to find a slightly older, classier man who would treat her to nice dinners and take her out on dates.

ASU guys don't do that; they just take girls to frat parties, she says. In the months since ing up on the website, Emily's received more than messages but has responded to only a few of them. Though she's never had sex with any of the men she's dated and thinks it's probably true that a lot of men see the website "as an actual prostitution-like thing," Emily also believes there are sugar daddies out there who are on the site for meet reasons.

The first man she went on a date with certainly seemed promising. In his mids and attractive, he invited her to meet him at an upscale sushi restaurant in Scottsdale.

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But then the date quickly turned sour. Her parents divorced when she was young, and she remembers learning that a man her mother was dating had cheated on her. The second guy she went out with, though in his 40s and not as attractive as he looked in pictures, was at least single and seemed polite.

He came across as very respectful, so she said yes when he invited her to come over and watch a movie at his house.

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Since it was a casual date, Emily wore leggings and a nice top but still straightened her long strawberry blond hair because she knows looking pretty is an important part of being a sugar baby. Only a handful of her friends know she sugar dates, and she made sure to tell at least one of them where she'd be that night.

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You know, she says, just in case. The date went well. The man owned an engineering company and he began the night by taking her on a tour of his huge Scottsdale home. After the tour, they watched a movie and had some pleasant conversation. All in all, it was a pretty good night, she says, which is why she agreed to a second movie date.

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Like the first time, they made small talk after she arrived and he poured her a glass of wine she's 19but instead of starting the movie, he got down to business. Emily was shocked by the abruptness of it all — he didn't make any sexual advances, just blurted out his expectations — and she decided to leave. One the way home, he texted her and said she should delete his from her phone.

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I don't think it's directly correlated to being on this website," she says. This isn't to say she'd never be intimate with a sugar daddy from Seeking Arrangement. That is increasingly year-olds who are trying to pay for their education [and] probably wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for the money. It scares her to think about what could have happened to Emily "That girl is so lucky she didn't get raped! Women don't want to think it's going to be quite as dehumanizing as it actually is.

Victoria declines to talk in detail about the sugar relationship she has with two of her sugar daddies, except to say, "Older men understand my soul, not just my body. She will say that she's attracted to the way sugar dating makes her feel — if not necessarily desired, then at least needed. They daddy hard and I give them moral support and a sense of togetherness they don't get anywhere else," she says. Growing up Avondale a small town in Virginia as the second of four children, Victoria describes feeling lucky to get a new outfit from Salvation Army every September, never mind new shoes or fresh school supplies.

She tells stories of being bullied and teased by other kids for being chubby, wearing thick glasses, and having crooked teeth. And she remembers always feeling different than meet classmates because her family spoke Polish and was Jewish.

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